The espresso machine whined a high pitch scream into the air as the hot chocolate inside the metal tin reached its boiling point. The dimly lit café was drowned out by the screeching sound, and the other occupied table halted conversation and glared at the annoyance.
Once the decorative porcelain cup was placed on the smooth stone surface of the tabletop, the details could be seen. Yellow and blue ribbons patterned the white of the cup and matching saucer. A nugget of sweetness, a piece of biscotti, garnished the drink.
“I can’t believe he’s backing out of plans with your family!” a young woman at the nearby table says. “Hasn’t he had these plans for almost a month?”
“Well, you can’t exactly plan for a funeral, you know” the other woman says over the rising steam of a cappuccino. “I have such mixed feelings. He’s such a nice guy, and I understand that he wants to be there for her, it is very hard loosing a grandparent after all. In turn I want to be there for him, and give him the freedom to do what he feels is right, without getting a guilt trip from me. I’d feel selfish asking him to not attend the funeral, whether he knew this lady or not.”
“But he didn’t know her. And besides, you are his girlfriend, not her. He should be putting you before everyone, especially his ex-girlfriend.”
The two women continued to analyze the pros and cons of this sticky situation for a staggering 28 minutes before the yellow and blue ribbon laced cup ran cold and empty.
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1 comment:
Whoa! That's a long time to discuss a boyfriend/funeral situation.
Your fourth paragraph is one awfully long quote. Break it up into two or three paragraphs.
Put a comma at the end of the quote, before the attribution:
“Well, you can’t exactly plan for a funeral, you know,” the other woman says...
...it is very hard losing (not loosing) a grandparent...
Make sure each quote has an attribution, so it's clear who's speaking. (See next-to-last paragraph.)
13/15
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